Trial programme gets children to befriend seniors — 5 reasons to watch this CNA series

SINGAPORE: As they gathered round his bed, the children couldn’t help giggling nervously when Ang Koon Lock said cheerfully: “Uncle lives here, lah.”
It was the first time the pre-schoolers had stepped inside a nursing home and the first time they could more fully understand that the uncles and aunties there had homes that were different from theirs.
Where was the toilet? Could he see their school if he looked out of the window? And what was the red button on his bed for?
“This is called a call bell,” the 83-year-old’s nursing aide explained to the children. “If uncle needs our help, … then he’ll press the bell.”
To their delight, Uncle Ang then invited them to sit on his bed while he moved it up and down using the hand-held controller.
That’s just one of the things that can happen when an inter-generation programme between seniors and six-year-old pre-schoolers is trialled in Singapore.
The programme paired six children with six nursing home residents in the St John’s–St Margaret’s (SJSM) Village on Dover Road, where the home is housed next to Little Seeds Preschool.
Can they become friends despite their age gap? How can such bonds benefit different generations? Over 10 weeks, CNA’s four-part series It Takes A Village documented their journey, and here’s why it is a must-watch.
The first meeting between the pre-schoolers and seniors in the SJSM Village was all about the six inter-generation pairs getting to know each other, where the children’s shyness contrasted with the seniors’ enthusiasm for the most part.
WATCH PART 1: Can a 6-year-old and a 92-year-old become friends? (46:59)
“You and me, good friends,” Harvey Roystein Heppolette, or Uncle Roy, said to Elliott Jiang, who fidgeted in his seat.
Some initial hesitation on the part of the children is to be expected, according to the programme co-ordinators.
Nowadays, children have fewer opportunities to mingle with older generations because many of them would not be living with their grandparents, said Thang Leng Leng, a National University of Singapore (NUS) anthropologist with research interests in inter-generation approaches and relationships.
So the children were unsure how to react to their new partners. But with some coaxing from their teachers, their reservations began melting away.
When Uncle Roy asked Elliott his age more than once, that was enough for the boy to start getting familiar with his new friend.
“What’s your name?” Elliot asked six times, feigning confusion. Then he laughed when Uncle Roy, after replying repeatedly, said, “Alamak.”
The 76-year-old thought the meeting went well. “So far, so good,” he said. “But I don’t know how long it’ll be before he gets fed up or changes his mind.”
Over the next few weeks, the pre-schoolers did warm up to their silvery-haired buddies through activities designed to bring them closer. And through shared tasks, the children learnt to look out for their partners and adapt to their needs.
During a gardening activity, Oliver Yeo and Thomas Tan, 92, had to pulse chilli, garlic and soap in a portable blender to make a natural pesticide to protect the young seedlings they just planted.
“Press,” Oliver urged Uncle Thomas, whose reflexes had deteriorated with dementia. Sensing difficulties, Oliver then guided the senior’s left hand towards the blender’s button. And as the ingredients blended, Uncle Thomas let out an “Oh!”
“The children are more agile with their fingers and hands,” observed SJSM Nursing Home assistant manager (volunteer management) Ryan Liu. “Some of the senior citizens … can’t even grip (things) properly. And their eyesight isn’t as good.”
By seeing first-hand the struggles their elderly friends may face, the children will develop greater empathy for the elderly in society, hoped staff at SJSM.
Also, by taking turns and incorporating the seniors’ choices in the activities, the pre-schoolers got to work on their social and co-operative skills.
During a painting session, for instance, Sonya Shi and Chew Hwee Huang, 69, were seen discussing which parts of the canvas they each should colour.
WATCH PART 2: Kids learn about their senior friends through play (46:31)
“There’s a lot of transmission of values that’s happening between the young children and the elderly,” said Anglican Preschool Services director of academic services Cara Lee. “Values such as learning how to honour the elderly at a very young age.”
For some of the more reserved children, their confidence grew as they took their cues from their wizened buddies.
Former schoolteacher Christabelle Alvis, for example, helped her soft-spoken partner, Laura Tan, come out of her shell more.
When a read-along session was organised, the 93-year-old started each sentence in the book and the 6-year-old continued reading it out, haltingly at first and then with more certainty.
It was as though Auntie Christabelle was telling Laura, “You can do it. I’m here, I’m listening to you. You don’t need to feel shy”, observed SJSM Village volunteer leader Chay Siew Ping.
Given the opportunity, older people not only can impart experience but also can model qualities like confidence, said Chay.
Confidence building through inter-generation interactions is a two-way process. During a game, Laura passed on a message from Chay by speaking into Auntie Christabelle’s only good ear.  “I love you,” Laura whispered.
“Wow, so do I. I love you!” Auntie Christabelle exclaimed.
Such encounters, said Vivien Wu Xi, an assistant professor at the NUS’ Alice Lee Centre for Nursing Studies, help to give the elderly residents “the social confidence that ‘I’m connected, I’m engaged.’”
“Even though I’m living in a nursing home setting, I’m still having little friends coming to visit me, working together on certain activities, achieving certain milestones every session.”
WATCH PART 3: Kids learn how their senior friends live in a nursing home (45:51)
Some of the inter-generation pairs, however, faced communication barriers from the get-go. For example, Low Kui Hua, 77 has slurred speech due to childhood epilepsy, and struggles to express herself clearly.
But her enthusiasm was clear: She responded to her partner, Jedidiah Wong, with emphatic sounds, energetic gestures of approval and even drew a portrait of him.
“Does it look like you?” asked Chay as Auntie Low showed him the drawing. Jedidiah nodded bashfully.
“From my observation of Jedidiah and Ms Low (in terms of) communication, language doesn’t necessarily (have to) be that barrier. Ninety per cent (of her communication) is body language, 10 per cent is verbal,” said Chay.
As for Eva Jiang, who spoke mostly English, and Chinese-speaking Uncle Ang, when words failed them, enthusiasm also filled in. But he did try to muster all the English words he knew to connect with her and the other children.
“Rose,” he said, pointing to his potted plant at one session where they brought their favourite item to show each other. Eva nodded and smiled.
The bond between the pair strengthened over the weeks. And it manifested on their group outing to River Wonders, when Eva spontaneously scooted on to Uncle Ang’s lap to hitch a wheelchair ride after her legs grew sore.
“I don’t need to walk!” she said gleefully.
Unbeknownst to her, Uncle Ang was moved by the level of comfort she had shown after close to 10 weeks of friendship. “She’s getting more familiar with me now,” he said. “She didn’t sit on the others’ laps, so she’s more comfortable with me.”
WATCH PART 4: Can 6-year-olds and nursing home residents become friends in 10 weeks? (46:28)
Like most elderly residents, Uncle Ang, whose only son visits him once or twice a month, struggles with loneliness while spending his twilight years in a nursing home.
So he looked forward to his weekly sessions with Eva and the other children, whose cheerfulness lifted his spirits, even if only for a couple of hours.
“I feel very lonely here. During these 10 weeks, I’ve had the chance to spend time with them,” he said.
Indeed, their presence may have had more impact on the seniors than the children realised.
A few weeks after Uncle Thomas’ gardening activity, the trial co-ordinators noticed that he had become more alert and did not falter, for instance, when passing the ball to Oliver in an exercise session.
“(At) other times, I’ve seen Uncle Thomas almost slowly fade into a little nap,” remarked Lee. “But today, I must say, there wasn’t a moment (when) he even closed his eyes.”
Wu added: “He was fully engaged. That’s an indication of his attention (span) getting longer because of that connection, that enjoyment with the kids. So that’s a huge improvement for dementia patients.”
Parents, too, saw how the inter-generation trial had left its mark on their children’s attitudes towards elderly people and their own grandparents.
Oliver, for instance, suddenly reached for his grandfather’s hand to guide him down a slope on a “particularly rainy day”, recounted dad Yeo Wee Cheng. “This is probably closely tied to whatever’s happened in the past few weeks.”
What remains to be seen after this pilot, said Thang, is how meaningful inter-generation relationships can continue to be sustainably fostered, in the SJSM Village and society beyond.
Oliver, for one, thought 10 weeks was too short — which made one thing clear to his father. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re young or old (or) from different backgrounds. Invaluable friendships can manifest in the unlikeliest places,” Yeo said.
Watch all four episodes of It Takes A Village here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.